She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
