dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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