went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
