the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
