Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
