Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize