This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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