After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
