was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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