bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
