I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
