i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
