was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
