She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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