worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
