no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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