Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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