How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize