Me too!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
