dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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