There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
