i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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