This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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