No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
