And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize