i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
