It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
