I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
