my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize