guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
