didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
