my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
