dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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