I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
