there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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