After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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