my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
