All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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