Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
