fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
