he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
