sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
