So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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