Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize