So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
