You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
