i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
