theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
