fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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