Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can text with my tongue
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
