I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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