i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
