Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
