if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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