She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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