i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
