I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
