this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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