he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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