lets start a swedish sibling band together
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
